I wish I knew how to quit you...

Welcome to Take One of February’s Secret Subject Swap. This week, 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own writing style. Today, at 10am, we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts for your reading pleasure.  

My“Secret Subject” is: 

The reason I gave up___________

It was submitted by: www.amotherlife.com 

...and away we go...

As simple as this challenge initially appears, this was actually a really tough one for me. I could go in a million different directions with this prompt. I actually take quitting to a whole new level sometimes, so it would be especially difficult for me to choose to write about only one of these occasions. I thought and thought, and still nothing. I became so frustrated that naturally, I wanted to quit. Eventually I told my alter-egos, Surrendering Sally and White Flag Fanny to hush for a moment and finally it came to me...er, us...

The reason I gave up "giving up The Bachelor"...

Does this make sense? Probably not. Bear with me here for a moment while I gather up some roses and try to explain...also, try not to drink too much champagne while you wait. (It's been known to happen.)

I've been a fan of this trashy reality series from its slightly more humble beginnings. The premise, to this day, seems so ridiculously far-fetched to me, that I can still hardly wrap my head around the fact that a.) It's been on for 17 seasons (not including The Bachelorette); b.) that despite it's increasingly classless contestants, I still get invested...every single time; and c.) that my inner-hopeless romantic still roots for these hapless and hopeless oddballs.

The normal, rational person that hides somewhere deep inside of me, (I swear she really exists!), understands that this show is nothing more than smoke, mirrors, an open bar, helicopter rides, and super heavy editing. I'll watch a season, and I'll make snarky comments the whole way through...usually they involve Spray Tan, STDs, and the hygienic ramifications of lost acrylic fingernails floating in the hot tub. I'll judge the tiny dresses and the embarrassing meltdowns that they'll likely never be able to drink enough to forget once they leave that den of sin and return to their actual human lives. I'll trash-talk until I'm blue in the face. And slowly, as each season winds down, I'll secretly begin wishing these crazy people the happily ever afters that they're so completely desperate for. I'll watch the proposal during the season finale and I'll grin like a total goon. I drink the kool-aid every time, even though I really hate it...

A few days...weeks...or months later I'll usually read that they've "gone their separate ways but remain committed to the amazing friendship that they found on the show"...blah, blah, blah. Um, color me disappointed. Again. 

My mom and I watch the show together. It's a fun tradition now, and a reason that Mondays suck a little less in the winter. My husband will make fun of us and ask why we keep watching. Whatever...I try not to judge him too harshly for his obsession with Dr. Who and all of the other dork-inspired shows that he spends so much of his free time on. I don't owe him an explanation anyway. He should really just be thankful that my inner-romantic continues to believe that love really will conquer all.

After the last five or six break-ups, I keep promising myself that I'm done with this nonsense. It's a vicious cycle that never gives me the satisfying happy ending that I'm longing for...very much like the lunatics who audition to be on Season 109 after bearing witness to the trainwreck of a track record that this abomination has to show for itself. Did you know that Biggest Loser has had more relationships end in marriage than The Bachelor? This is totally true. Probably not a tidbit that The Bachelor likes to brag about these days...

I'll be all, "I'm done. I can't take it any more." ...and then the next season kicks off and I'm once again watching 25 women with self-esteem issues do backflips out of a limousine in an effort to capture the fleeting attention of some charming and well-sculpted beau-hunk. It's called Match.com, ladies...look it up so I can quit watching this garbage!

Anyhoo, I've come to the realization that I'm obviously not too "high brow" for this show. Clearly. Go ahead and file this under "not a shock". I'll wait. I'm just a girl who likes to forget about real life for a few hours each week while I cheer on the unlikely love affair of two random fame-whores and the kooky array of drunken cast-offs that never fail to leave me laughing...and feeling a little better about my own lot in life.

I'm a sucker and a softy. As much as I'd like my cynical side to help me change the channel, the silly little optimist inside of me shakes her pom poms as the next dozen roses bring a few more girls closer to an evening of love, "romance" (and probably a BJ at the very least,) in the "Fantasy Suite". The embarrassing and irrational 14-year-old girl inside of me will continue to get a little misty during the proposal...knowing full well that this fairytale has probably already been body-slammed to death by real life. Because, in that moment, two people looked at each other and saw nothing but endless possibility. They had hope for the future. They believed in fate, and love, and happily ever after. That's kind of cool. Even if it isn't totally real.

So...I'm done pretending that I'm done. I'll watch this swill until they stop airing it. I'll root for the most seemingly "normal" people to find love. I'll get bummed, but won't be shocked when they don't. There are worst things to advocate for than love, romance, and reality television. I officially quit quitting The Bachelor. 

And if Neil Lane and ABC would like to thank me for this ringing endorsement...Something square or cushion-cut would work for me!

Courtesy of Neil Lane

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

www.BakingInATornado.com                         

http://dinoheromommy.com/                      

http://smn0409.blogspot.com/   

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/             

http://www.quirkychrissy.com                         

http://www.momaical.com                          

http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/             

http://www.chewylicious.com                            

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/               

www.amotherlife.com                                

http://followmehome.shellybean.com

http://www.100lbCountdown.com

http://www.somethingclever2point0.com/

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/

http://mybrainonkids.net/