Because I'm just THAT good at talking about myself...

Don't pretend that you don't know what this is. It's the blogging chain-letter equivalent of a cootie-catcher or a game of M.A.S.H. 

Lucky for all of you, I happened to LOVE both of those things when I was in 7th grade, so I am TOTALLY down to answer this silly little survey about myself. Let's just trade Lisa Frank folders (which I NEVER had, by the way,) and get this party started...

I got "tagged" by two of my favorite writers: Snarkfest and Don't Chew On the Dinner Table! (And other things I never thought I'd say...) They are both, quite simply, the Cat's Pajamas. They're both way too funny for their own good. Also, they both have this undercurrent of warmth to them, that I simply can't get enough of. I wanna be all up in their Google+ friend circles...whatever that means. Basically, they're awesome, and if you're not all up in they're bizness...you're all kinds of missing out.

Let the "Get To Know Me" Mayhem Commence...

1.  Where were you born?  An army hospital in Fort Benning, GA. My mom almost died delivering me. The next day she was expected to make her own hospital bed and start doing calisthenics. I NEVER complain to her about my childbirth experience. Ever.

2.  Were you named after someone?  Sort of. My grandmother was Genevieve. She went by Jenny. My mom thought that she and I could share that nickname. Only people who knew me before I turned 18 still call me Jenny. Hearing it almost makes the insides of my ears itch. I am SO not a Jenny. Naturally, my husband likes to call me it to torment me. It's Jen, folks.

3.  How many children do you have?  One. But he feels like four...on a good day. On a bad day, he feels like The Duggars...if they weren't well-behaved.

4.  How many pets do you have?  Two little dogs. One has three legs. Leo torments them endlessly. Also, we have a small pond out back full of goldfish. Sometimes birds and ducks eat the fish. The circle of life is alive and well in our yard. I live in the suburbs, but some days, it feels like the 100-Acre Woods...is that what it's called? Sorry, Winnie the Pooh always bored me.

5.  Your worst injury?  I had a DVT (think enormous, almost lethal blood clot) in my right leg when I was in my early 20's...courtesy of the birth control patch. Synthetic hormones are the devil. Trust me on this.

6.  Do you have a special talent?  I played the trumpet in 6th & 7th grade. I was AWFUL. I have a crazy-good memory. I'm like a steel-trap for song lyrics. And, if thumb wrestling were an olympic sport, I still probably wouldn't make the team...but I might win at regionals!

7.  Favorite thing to bake? Banana or Zucchini Bread. The smell fills me and the whole house with happiness!

8.  Favorite Fast Food? Chinese take-out or Chicken McNuggets. I know they're disgusting. Go tell someone else about it, but pass me the sweet and sour sauce before you go...

9.   Would you bungee jump? Nope. I'm afraid of heights like it's my job. If I even looked over the edge, there would be fainting...probably just after the barfing.

10.  What is the first thing you notice about people?  Whether or not they're smiling, maybe...

11.  When was the last time you cried?  Last weekend, I think. Sometimes when my stress levels begin to rise, my tear ducts are the first to show weakness.

12.  Any current worries? Yes. Lots of them. But, that's not what this little piece of survey heaven is going to be about right now. They take up enough of my time already, anyway.

13.  Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.  Coffee, Diet Coke, Water. Sadly, probably in that order.

14.  What’s your favorite book? Some of you are going to judge me for this, and I don't care, but it's "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I read it way later than most folks did. Way after Oprah dedicated a few of her episodes and book club stickers to it. It was like it found me just when it was supposed to. It woke up something inside of me. It honestly changed my life. If Elizabeth started a cult, I probably would have shaved my head and joined. It wasn't about the writing so much, and her follow up book was basically awful, but this one had some magic in it for me. I will always be grateful for the way that it inspired me. Someone in the story tells her to stop wearing a wishbone where her backbone ought to be. This has always stayed with me.

15.  Would you like to be a pirate? Umm, no. I get quite seasick, actually.

16.  Favorite Smells? My husband's aftershave. Leo just after a bath. Movie popcorn. Escada's summer fragrance...it changes names and a few floral notes every year, but it's always my signature scent. It's all citrusy with hints of island music and sun-soaked skin. I love it. My main man really loves it too. Wink, wink.
17.  Why do you blog?  Because I've come to love it. I'm a storyteller. I love to write. It's a happy place for me in a stressful world.

18. What song do you want played at your funeral? "Smack my Bitch up" by Prodigy. That's not true. But, it is funny.

19.  What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My weight...a result of my shoddy self-control, and a contributor to my wavering self-esteem.

20.  Favorite hobby? I love reading but hardly do it lately. I'd love to start hiking again this spring, too.

21.  Name something you’ve done, you never thought you would do?  Travel to Italy. It was  even better than I imagined. And more delicious.

22.  What do you look for in a friend? My friends are all the funniest people I know. They're trustworthy, and smart as Hell. I have incredibly high standards for my peeps. My friends are about as good as they get.

23.  Favorite fun things to do?  Going to the movies, swimming, traveling, visiting with friends and family. I can make just about anything a good time, folks...trust me on this.

24.  Pet peeves?  People who don't use their turn signal, dishonesty, people who leave crumbs on my counters or in my sink, people who leave their shoes in the middle of the room when they take them off, "morning people"...I could go on all day here if you leave this mic on...

25.  What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Leo and his crazy new words. He astounds me with how incredibly right and how amazingly wrong some of them come out of his awesome little mouth.

I'm supposed to tag some other bloggers now, but I'm fairly certain that all my super cool bloggy friends have already been infected with this disease. So, you're off the hook peeps! Unless you don't want to be. In that case, what are you waiting for...Go. Now. Write.

“God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

(You see what I mean?...Brilliance.)