BYOHS

My son peed in the lid of the container for his bristle blocks yesterday. The fugitive broke away in the middle of an otherwise ordinary diaper change. He ran towards the television, watched it intensely for 15 seconds, and quickly returned to me. I would have been none the wiser until I noticed a single glistening drop of evidence on his leg. Damn, he was quick! I'm still trying to figure out if he is the Robin Hood of the Urine-Nation or if he was just a lucky shot. Not a droplet landed on the carpet or anywhere else in the vicinity. He just filled that lime-green lid near to the top, and then came back to be re-diapered...and perhaps congratulated. He only got the diaper.

A short time later, I walked by the kitchen sink and saw the green lid. I asked my husband why it was still in the sink...I mean...it had human pee in it less than an hour ago...surely he had taken soap to it...surely he wouldn't have just dumped it and put it in the sink next to other dishes that we eat off of. He paused before saying yes. Naturally, my answer was in the pause, and not in the "yes". My grown adult husband...who is highly educated...nationally respected in his field...and who had the good sense to marry me, thinks it's acceptable to keep things that had pee in them in the kitchen sink until I can get to them. There's not enough Lysol in the world to save me now. 

R.I.P. Dreams of Barbies, and dollhouses, and not having to check everything remotely container-like for signs of possible puddles of pee...

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Dear Universe,

Thanks for all this!!!! Be sure to swing by for dinner some time...I sure do "owe ya" one! I'll be sure to leave the cooking up to the two boys that you've so generously blessed me with!

BYOHS
(Bring Your Own Hand-Sanitizer)

And eat at your own risk.

Hope you like boogers, farts, and having hard plastic cowboy dolls thrown at your head.

Begrudgingly Yours,
Jen...who was completely unprepared for all of this...