An Open Letter to Children's Television Producers

In case you didn't know, or may have forgotten, I am an Epistolarian! Don't know what that means? Let my poignant friend Tracy of Momaical explain:

"The word 'epistolary' referred to letters written to elicit change.  In the days of yore, the pen was a strong weapon and wielded often to affect change.  The art of words has lost some of its poignancy as the media, social media and other methods of communication have emerged.  Few actually turn to writing letters as a manner of compliment or criticism.  

In January, we Epistolarians are forging our own path with a set of letters to either commend or chastise those we feel strongly enough about to place pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard). Whether a celebrity, secret love interest, friend or nemesis – we will be spouting off from our little corners of the Internet." 

I've done this once before...I wrote a little letter of advice to the young and misguided Taylor Swift. Her recent shenanigans are proof positive to me that she probably didn't read it. Shocking I know! Oh well...her loss. One day it's gonna be crazy lady cat-city for her...

Well, I'm at it again! I've got a few things to say to the people behind all of the whacked out children's television programming that I'm forced to endure on a daily basis. Here's hoping that maybe they'll listen a little better than Taylor did...

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Dear Children's Television Producers,

I wish that I better understood exactly who you weirdos actually are before drafting this letter. But, I don't. So, let me assume that you are one of the following:

1. Cracked out junkies writing about rainbow-colored, LSD-inspired, talking animals in order to pay for your next eight-ball of crystal-crack...or bath gels...or whatever you're snorting this week. (Can you tell that I'm not a user?)

2. Sadists who hate your parents for not taking you out for enough ice cream when you were little, so now you've made it your life's work to torture other parents the world over with awful musical earworms that repeat themselves over and over again in our brains during both sleep and waking hours until we start feeling several fries short of a Happy Meal.

3. Actual legitimate crazy people. The kind who eat chalk, wear coffee filters as hats, and have conversations with  coat-racks.

WANNA READ THE REST OF THE LETTER? 

OF COURSE YOU DO! 

PLEASE CLICK  here  TO SEE HOW THIS PLEA ENDS FOR ALL CRAZY PEOPLE INVOLVED... 

While you're there, I hope you'll read some of the letters drafted by my fellow Epistolarians! There are some gut-busters in the mix!

If you were an Epistolarian, WHO would you write a letter to?

COURTESY WILDBRAIN ENTERTAINMENT